The Octophant

The Tumblr outlet for Octophant News

"​Ok, apeface, let’s get something straight… you may think you’re a big deal up there with your iPads and cruise missiles and waffle irons and whatnot, but show your face in my hood and see how far it gets you. Iron-based blood oxygenation doesn’t matter when you don’t even have gills. I’ll try my chromatophores against yours any day of the week, Jack. Oh, what’s that? You don’t even have chromatophores? Are you even trying? Not that it matters. With inside-out retinas like yours it’s a wonder you can see anything! Does evolution even know where you live? Oh, and don’t even get me started on this skeleton of yours. You call ‘em bones, I call ‘em souvenirs. I think maybe I’ll just build a summer home out of you. You best keep to your side of the waterline, chimpy. You clearly aren’t cut out for life in the real world.”

New in the store today, 8 Limbs Good.

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